So here's the deal. Yes, without a doubt it is important to date someone you are physically attracted to.
Chemistry is a wonderful feeling. You get high on dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, estrogen and oxytocin. Literally. However, this chemical high lasts anywhere from 18-36 months. And yes, it is wonderful. But, it is not love.
So, that hot guy/girl in the corner? If you are a slave to chemistry you might be ignoring compatibility. THIS is what keeps couples together and allows them to build a future together. Compatibility is what is needed when it's time to make compromises, to make the zillions of decisions you'll need to make over a lifetime, to ride the highs and lows of marriage, to raise kids and stay present and engaged to work to it out when the shit hits the fan. Oh, and you definitely need compatibility when neither of you is all that "hot" anymore. Let's get real.
So you need a chemistry/compatibility cocktail and knowing what I know at this stage of my life, I would lean heavier on the compatibility part if you are planning on celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary. If you ignore compatibility, well let's just say that involves repeated episodes of tears, sweat pants and ice cream.
No sexual chemistry is a non-starter for sure, but no compatibility and you don't stand a chance at lasting.
I recently read an article that stated the traits that make for healthy long-term partnerships are the ability to be agreeable, a lack of neuroticism, and a lack of seeking novelty (looking for greener pastures elsewhere). I'd say that's a great list to start with and would probably add the ability to express gratitude for not only the big things in life but the small blessings as well ~ to appreciate what you have.
Unless you prefer difficult, neurotic, forever restless and entitled........
Chemistry is a wonderful feeling. You get high on dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, estrogen and oxytocin. Literally. However, this chemical high lasts anywhere from 18-36 months. And yes, it is wonderful. But, it is not love.
So, that hot guy/girl in the corner? If you are a slave to chemistry you might be ignoring compatibility. THIS is what keeps couples together and allows them to build a future together. Compatibility is what is needed when it's time to make compromises, to make the zillions of decisions you'll need to make over a lifetime, to ride the highs and lows of marriage, to raise kids and stay present and engaged to work to it out when the shit hits the fan. Oh, and you definitely need compatibility when neither of you is all that "hot" anymore. Let's get real.
So you need a chemistry/compatibility cocktail and knowing what I know at this stage of my life, I would lean heavier on the compatibility part if you are planning on celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary. If you ignore compatibility, well let's just say that involves repeated episodes of tears, sweat pants and ice cream.
No sexual chemistry is a non-starter for sure, but no compatibility and you don't stand a chance at lasting.
I recently read an article that stated the traits that make for healthy long-term partnerships are the ability to be agreeable, a lack of neuroticism, and a lack of seeking novelty (looking for greener pastures elsewhere). I'd say that's a great list to start with and would probably add the ability to express gratitude for not only the big things in life but the small blessings as well ~ to appreciate what you have.
Unless you prefer difficult, neurotic, forever restless and entitled........